I realize I have not blogged about my weight loss in a while, but let me explain. A month and a half ago, I was semi-busy. More having to do with catching up, rather than with new shoots. But then, all of a sudden (and it is still a mystery to me) I have been getting multiple calls and emails per day for wedding and portraits (mostly for portraits). I wasn’t prepared for this sudden change and so what does any perfectionist with OCD do in this situation? Panic. And boy did I panic. Many of you may have noticed through my Twitter/Facebook statuses that I wasn’t getting very much sleep during that time. I was getting about 2-4 hours of sleep per night (literally), with a couple of nights here and there with no hours (no joke). In all this, I was trying to figure out a system to keep all of my inquiries organized, because for me to not call a potential client back in time or to unknowingly and unwillingly provide bad customer service, would be the worst thing that could happen in my work.

Anyway, so I’ve been recommended to ShootQ by a couple of photographers, and I am SO INCREDIBLY grateful. Though I haven’t figured out all of the ropes yet, whatever I have learned so far has been life-changing for me. I have been wanting to “go green” in my company for a while now, and I finally got the kick in the butt I needed from ShootQ & Jeff & Carina to start making those changes. I have SOOOOOOO many things happening and evolving behind the scenes! My “going green”, moving into a new house (AND new studio <--in the house), and so much more exciting stuff that I will talk about in future posts. But for now, let's go back to talking about the weight loss challenge (that I am apparently still trying to avoid talking about)....

So with the little sleep I was getting, the ADDED stress of the many new inquiries, bookings (though they are a blessing), the eco-friendly changes that I am working on, moving into my new home in 2 weeks, and taking care of my four little ones full-time....has left no time for me. And with that, I have not been taking care of myself. My first meal was usually when the kids went down for their nap around 1 or 2. And by that time, I was famished, so of course I would eat a ridiculous portion of food, while watching tv, and then do the same thing for dinner (after the kids went to bed). I started believing that the only time I had for me during the day was during the kids’ naps & bedtimes, and so I decided that food and tv during those times was how I was going to spend time on myself. Horrible, I know. But I really got stuck in that mindset for a really long while. Then I noticed the pounds I had lost in my previous Weight Loss Challenges had been creeping back up. Well, what else should I have expected?? My last weigh in at about 8 weeks ago was at 199 and this past Sunday, I started my challenge again. I weighed myself in at 203, and boy was I embarrassed!

I went to my computer, and printed out a daily food log where I will have to log in everything I eat from now on along with their nutritional information. This way I can actually visualize what I am putting into my body. It REALLY helps me with portion control too. Then, I printed out a daily log sheet of the different exercises I was going to be doing at the gym. 30 minutes of upper body + 30 minutes of cardio one day, then 30 minutes of lower body + 30 minutes of cardio the other day. Then back to the first one, and so on and so forth. The last sheet I created was my goals sheet. THIS TIME, I set very realistic weight loss goals. And I am going to meet my goal of 145lbs by my birthday (April 20, 2010). No matter what. I ALSO had Alin take some before pictures of me. I don’t feel comfortable to share them just yet, but I may in the future. After seeing the photos, THAT’S when it really hit me. I knew that this was not how I wanted to look for the rest of my life. And I have one life to live. One chance.

I know I will probably never be as skinny as I was before I had kids. I realize that. But before I loved photography, I LOVED fashion. I loved clothes and I had so much fun picking out the different outfits I was going to wear everyday. Clothing and appearance, at this point in my life is at about a 1.5 out of 10 on the importance scale, and that makes me so sad. The waterworks have been turned on now as I write this, but it really is just -sad. I want to look and feel beautiful again.

I’ve got my binder together now. It’s filled with my workout sheets, my food log, my goals, my dreaded before pictures and starting this past Monday, I have been on my way to my new self. And as you have probably noticed, I am going to be very open about it. I have been asked by some people (some of them friends and family) as to why I would want to be public about this. And my answer is why not? My whole life, I have always been an open book and this is no different for me. I am hoping that in all this, I will be able to document this time in my life for me, be held accountable by those who are reading this, and maybe inspire 1 or 2 of you along the way. So now that I have bored you with all that wordage, here are some pictures for you to look at.

This is me before I had kids while I was married to Alin. Funny how I didn’t want to show some of these to anyone before because I didn’t like the way I looked in them. Now I’d give anything to have that body back!

Along with keeping pictures of me (before kids) posted on my fridge & bathroom mirror, I also keep this collage of my favorite pics of Zooey. I don’t care for Hollywood actors or actresses too much, but I saw this Cotton commercial and I realized straight away that I LOVED her style and when I would be all through with this, that I wanted to look good in those clothes. So here is my inspiration board to help me towards my goal in all this.

And on to the hard part. I’ve decided to begin my original start date the Sunday after I gave birth to Genevieve. That was 21 weeks ago, hence why this post is titled “Week 21″. I will be updating every Sunday. The following stats are my weigh in numbers this past Sunday, before I started eating right and going to the gym.

I am going to be doing this the healthy and natural way. No pills. Just motivation, determination, and a complete lifestyle change. And with the help of God, I will get to my goal of 145 lbs by April, 20, 2010. And when I do, I (of course), will reward myself. I am doing this challenge alongside my sister in law (Jessica) and we have both decided that if we both reach our goals by that date, we are going to treat ourselves to a shopping spree in NYC! Also, while I am there, I may actually treat myself to a pro photo shoot too, since I’ve never been to New York. I don’t know with who yet, but I do want to like being in front of the camera again and not always behind it.

And that’s that! Long post, I know, but I had to get it out. If you have any thoughts, I would love to hear them. Leave some love below